A Letter to the Manager: “Hey Bruce, just wondering…”

Hey Bruce, my friend asked me: “If  Juan Uribe crushes two home runs why does Boch replace him in the cleanup slot with the black sheep of the Molina brothers?”

I told him you had a big plan.

I know you are like a mad scientist, however, and are doing all these things every game to make us stronger as a unit and not to completely run us into the dirt.

My friends think you’re a joke. They tell me “Is it a sad day when I start wishing we had Felipe Alou back?” But I told them NO! You are a great manager and deserve that NL manager of the year you are apparently in contention for.

A San Diego Padres fan sarcastically said, “Oh just wait until it comes crunch time, you know playoffs, you’ll really love Good Ol’ Bruce.”’

I killed that man.

I cherish that bond you have with your team (by your team I mean Randy Winn, Bengie Molina and Merkin Valdez.. seriosuly.. wtf dude?).

I cherish your amazing second place bracelet in that playoff game against the Colorado Rockies. Oh you don’t remember?

Push past the walk-off grand slam given up a few weeks ago by the same Rockies. Yeah, the one where we were up 2 going into the Bottom of the 14th and lost perhaps any momentum to make the wild-card spot.

I’m talking about the game against the Rockies where you guys were up 2 going into the Bottom of the 13th and lost any momentum to a wild-card spot when you gave up three runs including a walk-off single by Jamey Carrolol.

OK, so you do have your blemishes. The lifetime record of 1,094-1,156 isn’t too eye-popping.

The way you change your lineup more than Greg Pappa changes his stance on any issue ever doesn’t even bother me.

No not even the in-game “omg wtf are you doing/not doing that for. Why don’t you do this. Are you an idiot!” are enough to make me not like you.

You see Bruce, we have a special bond: you and I.

We are both obviously losers; we both play favorites, and we suck-up to our bosses.

And in this kinship with you, Bruce, I know that we’ll get through this. You won’t drive us into mind-numbing insanity for three more years and then Barry Bonds will not gently take the team from you and put them on his back and fly away like a sacred unicorn. You would not then be put out to pasture.

You see Bruce, I love you.

And when the offseason comes I truly hope you are the first Giant to come back.

-PS I have attached a photo of you I hope you can open it, print it, autograph it, scan it, then send it on over to me. I can put it right next to my Danny Ozark Auto-g.

Sincerely – FS.