UPDATE UPDATE: Bengie Molina is now in Texas. We can all move on… Until he hits .350 with a slugging % of .700.. Oh Hi Frandsen, Bowker and “Fdot”

UPDATE: Bruce Bochy can’t quit Bengie. He has told Bengie that the commish has to approve the trade and it’s not official yet. He told Bengie if he hasn’t heard anything he should go to Coors Field tomorrow.

Are you kidding? There are so many jokes to put in here, but in all seriousness, why can’t we have ONE thing go smoothly? Bengie book the flight, Bochy go get fired.

THE TRADE: S.F. has traded catcher Bengie Molina for Texas Rangers pitcher Chris Ray and a player to be named later, according to sources.

Chris Ray has a 3.42 ERA, has given up 12 ER in 31 innings pitched, allowed 16 walks and has allowed four home runs. In other words, we have a possible set-up guy or at the very least.. NO BENGIE!

My immediate reaction is thank God. This is step one and pretty funny because Sabean is admitting that he messed up with Bengie. But you guys, HE IS GONE. Thanks for the good memories Big Boy but it was long overdue.

This was the worst day of the year — we got swept by the Dodgers, are 2-9 in our past 11 games and about to go on the longest road trip of the year.. But none of that matters anymore.

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I was absolutely shocked.

I found out Gary Radnich has Twitter!.. OK, so it’s probably ran by a depressed, unpaid intern, but he has a Twitter account nonetheless. @@JGallagher24 says no one at KNBR even runs that account, but it’s Radnich represented even by name only.

But that’s not why I was shocked, I was shocked because he has 1,546 followers. @firesabean has just reached its 300th. WHOA! There is no reason that a guy who doesn’t understand the Internet should have five times more followers — Which is why I’m starting the “MORE FOLLOWERS THAN RADNICH” Campaign.

No this isn’t some cheap ploy for me to get more followers; sure the title of this campaign could be a little more punchier but that’s not the point

If you missed the first encounter between me and Radnich it can be found here.

I am now declaring war against Radnich because this is embarrassing. If you follow him I am urging you to unfollow him and join TEAM FIRESABEAN

Just click here, or find me on Twitter @firesabean. Because I will not stand for a washed-up sissy having 1,200 more followers than me. Technically I have to deal with it because I can only create 10 fake Twitter accounts before they e-mail me telling me to stop.

BUT JOIN THE REVOLUTION!!! RADNICH IS A JOKE!

Brian Sabean spoke about trades, our team slump and conditioning — but you’ll be surprised as to who he targeted.

TRADING:

We are not interested in free agents. We don’t want to rent players. That doesn’t make sense for us. We’ve got to find someone we can control, much like the Freddy Sanchez deal, and hope that presents itself – Sabean – courtesy Jeff Fletcher

OK, so this tells me that there is a possibility that we may not even make a move for a hitter. “And hope that presents itself”.. Brian,  you were voted by other GMs as the worst one to trade with, who is going to “present itself” to you?

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I’ve heard that when relationships turn sour, the sex does too. It’s usually right after weeks of 24/7 fighting and is pretty much the final sign that it’s over.

The San Francisco Giants and I have been fighting on and off for seven years now, and, well, I metaphorically stopped having sex with the Giants about a year ago.

But I just can’t quit them.

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Its been long rumored that the Giants were going to update their logo….little did i know i was going to be one of the first to see it. Check it out after the jump!

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Last night Bruce Bochy’s reasoning for not putting Buster Posey in the game?

Well, you can’t get ‘em all in there. – Bochy

OK, great so that means we can get him in here tonight, right? RIGHT?

Torres CF
Sanchez 2B
Sandoval 1B
Huff RF
Burrell LF
Uribe 3B
Molina C
Renteria SS
Cain RHP

Time for the FREE POSEY image again. How do we put up virtually the same lineup after yesterday’s crapshow? Oh yeah, it’s Giants management.

We might be seeing an immediate decrease in Panda hat sales and it wont be due to the SLUMPING economy..

First and third, no one out. Routine pop-fly to right, too shallow to score Aaron Slowand. Still Pablo Sandoval  tries to tag and go to second base. He’s obviously out in the rundown giving the Giants its umpteenth double play of the game.

Bengie then hits a grounder that an elephant could have beat out, leaving Aaron out to dry.

We went from “even a ground-ball double play would score a run!” to “Wait…. wait…. what?”

In 2 minutes every inch of the Giants flaws were exposed: Bochy’s idiocy for pinch-running Rowand instead of Nate; Pablo’s idiocy on the base-paths; Rowand’s idiocy for being an idiot; Bengie’s idiocy for his irreplaceable love of tostadas and Kruk n Kuip’s idiocy for not jumping out of the Comcast booth after all this happened.

Idiots!

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The last time the Giants played the horrible, ugly, disgusting, STD-infested team from Los Angeles, the Giants were a confident five games over .500 and rolling.

Granted it was nine games into the season (7-2), two and a half months later San Francisco has improved one game on that record (40–34).

Only this time there is much less confidence and shall I say much more… Nervousness?

The pitching is falling apart — allowing 5.2 runs in the past six games. The offense is still fallen apart — no explanation needed. And our team just seems.. well.. like a non-playoff team.

And we are now turning to Barry Zito — who allowed five runs in four innings of work on the 23rd.

Not to mention Bengie is once again still in the lineup.. Find the missing player:

CF Torres
2B Sanchez
RF Huff
3B Uribe
LF Burrell
1B Sandoval
SS Renteria
C Molina
P Zito

In celebration of the hated Dodgers coming to town I have chopped off 30% of price of our FIRESABEAN shirt, and am now offering them for 10 DOLLARS!

CLICK HERE to purchase a shirt

Act fast because the sale ends when the series does.

I’m filling space now because the article isn’t long enough..

Yup..

GO GIANTS!

FACT: Brian Sabean has been voted the worst GM to trade with by other GMs.

I’d link you to the proof.  I got this link from @tommywrightsj on Twitter about Buster Olney but you need ESPNRipoffinsider to view it so I’m trusting mlbtraderumors.com. Got it?

Now that that’s over with, he says in the article “a group of GMs polled” so this could be 2 or 22, I’m not sure but even if it’s a medium sample-size that’s really funny. Because not only is he now the worst to listen to, hear about, watch, talk about or hang out with he is now the worst person to TRADE WITH according to GMs of Major League Baseball.

Fire Sabean dot com.