Pop Goes The Balloon – S.F. loses 8-1

It’s 732 miles from Milwaukee to Washington D.C. Somewhere in that span the Giants lit their bats on fire and threw them out the windows of their plane. Instead of doing a post-game I decided to reflect on a better time:

If Stephen Strasburg is considered a phenom, then Matt Cain is phenomore. Let me explain by looking at my bullet points.

First Six Major League Starts

• Strasburg: 3-3, 29 hits, 2.45 ERA, .215 BA, .549 OPS
• Cain:          4-2, 18 hits, 2.03 ERA, .133 BA, .444 OPS

Butttt this is five years later for Cain and the whole run-support thing is still an issue. And today, the whole run-stoppage thing was definitely a BIGGER issue. Not to mention he made a throw over to second base that made Mariah Carey look like Buster Posey:

Despite the loss, my favorite moment was Edgar Renteria flinging his bat while striking out — I guess he was “helping the team out” by making sure the bat boy didn’t have to run as far. It was essentially a microcosm of our ability to hit Strasburg.

Well let’s see what else went wrong. I like bullet points so let’s use more.

• Bochy not squeezing with Ishi on 3rd, Cain batting and Rowand on deck.
• Rowand pinch hitting. Hey Nate, how’s the bench?
• Andres Torres hurting his groin.
• Pablo hasn’t figured out a high fastball is a ball.
• I’m sunburned.
• Matt Cain not making his case after I defended him for a week for not making the ASG
• Strasburg got a win.
• Denny Bautista is still pitching.
• Adam Dunn is a National.
• Like seriously, I’m sun burned pretty bad.

GUESS THE SCORE NOTE: Out of 32 guesses, no one guessed 8-1. That’s how this night went.

NOTE ABOUT THE GRAPHIC: Matt Cain is statistically better than Timmy (who made the All-Star team) and Aubrey Huff is statistically much better than the rookie All-Star Jason Heyward. And before I get e-mails about the graphic, in case you missed it Aubrey Huff said it, I’m just making a photoshop out of it.