The San Francisco Giants minor leaguers are turning into the Oakland Raiders.

Top prospect Darren Ford, currently playing on the AA Richmond Flying Squirrels, turned himself in and was charged with making false reports to law enforcement officers, obstruction of administration of law, conspiracy, and theft by failure to make proper disposition of property received, the Press Of Atlantic City reports.

In November, Ford told police he was carrying a bank deposit bag from RK Chevrolet when he stopped at a state Motor Vehicle office before going to the bank. Then, a gunman pointed a double-barreled shotgun at him and demanded he turn over his belongings.

Yeah, so that was a lie. Eight months later his conscious caught up with him.

And guess what, he stole $300. Three hundred freaking dollars. He was released the same day he turned himself in.

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I didn’t even pop my beer before Andres Torres hit a bomb over the left-field fence.

I didn’t even get a chance to cuss out @GiantsGM on Twitter before Aubrey Huff launched a home run.

And I didn’t even get a chance to Google “Narveson” before Buster Posey flipped his wrist and collected two RBI.

In case you were wondering this is what you get if you do Google it:

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OK first off, I am pretty cheesed at Giants beat reporter Andrew Baggarly.

During his post-game blog he was talking about Denny Bautista, which was fine, but he finished up with a joke:

By the way, if Bautista ever gives up a bases-loaded home run, you could call it a Denny’s Grand Slam Special.Bah-dum-dum.

Well, earlier in the evening I had tweeted:

Denny’s on pace to give up grand slam.. get it??

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This was from my POST-GAME yesterday:

In the seventh, Escobar failed to turn a double play, or actually failed to turn, with one out and the bases loaded which led to a huge four runs for the Giants.

Substitute Escobar with Counsell, change it from the seventh to the sixth, and make it five runs not four and you have the exact same game. Even the exact same score: 6-1.

Oh yeah, throw in the fact that 20-year-old Madison Bumgarner threw a 3-hit, 8-inning beauty. I just love saying his name.. Bumgarner, Bum…. MadBum.. Bummy, Big Time Bummy Jim.. OK I’ll stop.

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We taunt, heckle and constantly berate professional baseball players.

We feel it’s our job and right as a paying fan; we take out the human aspect of the game.

I recently saw the movie Sugar, it’s about a Dominican Republic player’s attempt to make it to the big leagues and there’s a scene where he’s in AA and about 200 fans are in the stands. We see a few guys heckling Sugar and for some reason that really hit home.

I saw myself in the jackass yelling at this human being. And I felt bad.

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Fire Sabean, Fire Bochy, Fir- wait, wait, the Giants won?

Despite Bochy sending up a position player instead of the pitcher with the bases loaded in a 1-1 game to bunt only to have him pop out to the catcher, the San Francisco Giants were able to break away and take a huge game, 6-1.

Coming off the 15-inning fiasco, it looked like the Brewers would run trains, planes and automobiles all over San Francisco., but Jonathan Sanchez threw a Jekyll’n'Hyde gem to his future team and thanks to an Alcides Escobar error, the Giants ran away with one.

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I am supposed to be on vacation, VACATION, yet the Giants managed to break my heart once again in typical S.F. fashion: 4-3- loss to the Rockies in 15 innings. I can’t escape the torture known as Giants baseball, not even in Tahoe.

I’ll get it out of the way and ask the same questions we all are asking:

• Why did Buster Posey disappear into the thin Colorado air in the eighth inning? The game went into extras and we missed at least two Posey AB’s. (Whiteside then throws away a ball in the bottom of the 14th which almost cost them the game, had another passed ball and yet another pop-up with a runner in scoring position)
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Well I was heavily debating on using a “fireworks” cliche today, but then I saw the All-Star selections.

It wouldn’t be FIRESABEAN if we didn’t start with the negatives first.

Jason Heyward (.251, 11 HR, 45 RBI) beat out Aubrey Huff (.290, 15 HR, 47 RBI) in the outfield. Huff has better numbers in every aspect of the game but he doesn’t have one thing that Heyward has: Hype.

Matt Cain went on a stretch that even made Ubaldo Jimenez take notice. Four runs in six game (46 innings). But apparently his “hiccups” recently pushed him off the card. Frustrating? A little, but this is Giants baseball we should be used to it.

On a positive note, Timmy and Wilson both made the team — which isn’t too much of a surprise.

Oh wait, Matt has a lower ERA, lower walk total, 2-0 advantage in shutouts, less hits allowed, and less hits per nine innings than Timmy?

But Tim has one thing that Matt Cain doesn’t: Hype.

So there you have it, just like the NBA, stats apparently don’t matter. Congrats to our two All-Stars, but Huff and Cain get shafted by the league and fans simply because they were better. I would expect nothing else.

Now if you’ll excuse me it’s the fourth of July and I have a bunch of sparklers to light. Yes, sparklers, because fireworks are used for celebration.

I hate to toot my own horn, but I mean, who else is going to do it?

FLASHBACK to March 8th, I wrote an article right when Spring Training started and said this:

As we hold our breath to see how the players develop, flashbacks of in-game mistakes by Bruce Bochy play through in my head. A pinch-runner not subbing in, an obvious bunt-situation not so obvious, Merkin Valdez pitching to Prince don’t stand on first-base because it’ll sink into the ground Fielder.

We CANNOT make the playoffs with this manager and we WILL NOT be successful with Sabean at the controls.

Not saying I cured cancer, and a lot of people already knew Bochy sucked but most didn’t seem to care if he got fired. I don’t know how anyone can ignore his mediocre at best overall record, lack of playoff success or his flat out idiocy.. But they have.

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If you haven’t heard, someone named “F.L.”  called in to KNBR on Thursday. There was a lot of grumblings that it sounded a lot like our favorite General Manager — Brian Sabean.

Our GM called in under a code name and didn’t even disguise his voice? Not likely, but who can argue with the voice similarities..

This is getting better than of my Soaps that I spend all day watching! Buster Olney calls out Sabes saying he doesn’t answer the phone, Sabes trades Bengie, Bochy is clearly upset and still sits Buster (Posey), Sabean and Bochy give us dissenting opinions through the media on who is catching and then F.L. gives us a beauty of a phone call.

Well, we here at FS bring you in-depth analysis on everything Giants, so I put together the call-in from F.L. and a call-in from Brian Sabean, these are those results.

Sounds like F.L. stands for Freakin’ Liar. What do you think? If for some bizarre reason this is true, this has to be the saddest moment in that man’s life. If it’s a fan being dumb, then, great voice disguise.. thanks for wasting my time.

Thanks to @Travis_Flora  and Eric for giving me the heads up on the phone call as I was paying $300 for new brakes.. Ohhh yeah.